I came this close....

[Houdi Elbow]

Land mines?

 

[FunGhoul]

Picket Fences
( and a big nasty dog )

 

[henderman]

if i can get a permit ima put monkeys in the yard so they can throw their poop at the passer byers.

 

[mikej89]

I hate lawn work. I would concrete the whole lot but the city wont let me. Kids can walk on my lawn all day long if it means I dont have to end up half dead after mowing day.
Pehaps I need to funnel some guitar money into a bad boy riding mower???
NAH what am I thinking.

Funny how everyone insists on grass yards for aesthetic but honestly the majority of people don't actually spend that much time in their yards lol...

 

[eclecticsynergy]

 

[abnormaltoy]

You'll really cross the threshold, when a pimply faced pubescent young lad with a crackly voice asks you to purchase some beverages for him.

 

[abnormaltoy]

I see that phrase here often. Mostly from old timers. I still don't get it.

IYDKYDK

 

[abnormaltoy]

Trouble is, if I say it, it's five words.

I can't figure out a way to say it with less than 9 or 10 words and without calling into question their lineage.

At my age I feel obligated to say it.

I'm look forward to living in a place where I can have a lawn so that I can say it. Get off my dust, just doesn't cut it. (Some people would just take it as dead skin sloughing off.)

 

[Deafsoundguy]

A realtor stopped by and plopped an Open House sign in my yard without permission.
It was on!
I collected the sign and made the realtor come to collect it.

That scenario really hits a nerve with me. I used to live on the corner of a really hot real estate market neighborhood. So being on the corner every a…..e realtor thought they could just plop any sign with an arrow they wanted on my lawn. Really ticked me off. I was constantly in a state of pulling them out and throwing them away. Never got a chance to personally chew one out I don’t know why.

I don’t live there anymore and no longer on a corner but still get an occasional sign in my yard from unthinking self centered dolts.

 

[Rocket King]

D

That scenario really hits a nerve with me. I used to live on the corner of a really hot real estate market neighborhood. So being on the corner every a…..e realtor thought they could just plop any sign with an arrow they wanted on my lawn. Really ticked me off. I was constantly in a state of pulling them out and throwing them away. Never got a chance to personally chew one out I don’t know why.

I don’t live there anymore and no longer on a corner but still get an occasional sign in my yard from unthinking self centered dolts.

Damn them. Damn them to Hell!!

 

[Ronnie Fn D]

if i can get a permit ima put monkeys in the yard so they can throw their poop at the passer byers.

Just go to Ocala FL and nab one out of a tree. Since you don't have to buy it ....no paper trail.....no permit lol

 

[nadzab]

That's why I have one of these constantly patrolling my perimeter:

View attachment 562614

Wow, John Deere has really expanded its product line…

 

[PonyB]

Ant, this is a thing lol.... Just 12 easy payments!

View attachment 562668

That twelve year old has a big allowance.

 

[Eric_G]

Wow, John Deere has really expanded its product line…

Recent effects of merger… John Rambo Deere

 

[Stratafied]

I'm still shaking.

Damn...I.....I need a minute.

OH LAWWWWD HAVE MERRRCY.

Never Never Never thought this would happen to me.

Standing at the kitchen counter, having a glass of water looking out the window.

Three adorable grammer school age kids, walking along the sidewalk, laughing, having a carefree time.

Then without warning two of them walked on my lawn.

Yep. My eyes got wide and those four words were starting to come out of my mouth before I could blink.

Through sheer willpower and strength I was able to stop myself.

This time.

I fear the next time though.

Shake it off Ant , it’s gonna be okay

 

[strat_strummer]

The most required addition of the F bomb, make that 6 words.

 

[tery]

Thats how it starts . . .

 

[Sarnodude]

Where we used to live in Canada, the kids used to litter my from lawn almost daily.
Pop cans, juice cartons, candy wrappers...sandwiches
I never caught them in the act, but I did complain to the nearby school that they need to teach kids to control themselves.