Anyone home? I've going to whine a bit. But first some coffee....
I am in a hole. And I don't see much chance of getting out, much less staying out.
I am very blessed materially. Nice home, nice car, nice music room. But all this hides that I am stuck. The missus has health issues that causes her to be unable to do much of anything. So I have been her care giver for the last five years or so. A couple of times we've tried a weekend outing,, but she can make it a day and a half before going back into her condition that infects me. She has to cancel everything. All our friends and family know this and kind of stay away. She spends an inordinate amount of time either sleeping or binge watching TV.
My little brain is programmed to be there to help,, regardless. She keeps telling me to go off and do stuff by myself. But sometimes I really want a traveling companion. So I mostly wind of not doing much. Next weekend's jam in Greenville will be tough for me. On one hand it'll be great to get out. On the other hand I'll be waiting on a phone call telling me that something happened and I need to scurry home.
And most of my friends are either dead, or had their wife die, and have moved away. This adds to the soup.
So here I am, just turned 69, been retired 10 years, and I don't any see enjoyment in my future. I have pretty much given up. I'm not not suicidal or anything. Just given up.
More coffee please....
I am in a hole. And I don't see much chance of getting out, much less staying out.
I am very blessed materially. Nice home, nice car, nice music room. But all this hides that I am stuck. The missus has health issues that causes her to be unable to do much of anything. So I have been her care giver for the last five years or so. A couple of times we've tried a weekend outing,, but she can make it a day and a half before going back into her condition that infects me. She has to cancel everything. All our friends and family know this and kind of stay away. She spends an inordinate amount of time either sleeping or binge watching TV.
My little brain is programmed to be there to help,, regardless. She keeps telling me to go off and do stuff by myself. But sometimes I really want a traveling companion. So I mostly wind of not doing much. Next weekend's jam in Greenville will be tough for me. On one hand it'll be great to get out. On the other hand I'll be waiting on a phone call telling me that something happened and I need to scurry home.
And most of my friends are either dead, or had their wife die, and have moved away. This adds to the soup.
So here I am, just turned 69, been retired 10 years, and I don't any see enjoyment in my future. I have pretty much given up. I'm not not suicidal or anything. Just given up.
More coffee please....