Hazard Nova

Guess I need to put "no politics" in all caps in my thread titles from now on. What a bunch of babies some people are.

Sports are amazing. I love playing and watching sports. That's it.

I could see caring about which team wins if I'm on that team, but only while I'm on the field actually playing. While sitting on the bench it'd be hard for me to care if my own team is winning. (I can pretend to care.) While sitting in the stands I can't understand caring at all. Just love seeing the sport played.

Wife sez: use up as much of the basil from the garden as you can before summer ends
I made a ton of pesto
Poured it over fettuccini
Now my beard literally drips with olive oil

Typically I'm very pro-social. For example, at the store they installed self-checkout lanes and I refused to use them because I knew they were counting and waiting to eliminate cashier jobs, so I'd make a point of going to the cashier line. But lately I've been feeling rather misanthropic and I go for the self-checkout. Accelerate the race to the bottom. Screw everyone. Let's get this over with.

Met some strangers at a jam session; when it was time to go I felt I was leaving friends behind. Music'll do that.

I also learned that I am NOT comfortable playing lead over other people's pre-written songs. Feels like walking on clean carpet with dirty shoes. And, I apparently find it excruciating to play over the I-IV-V patterns of traditional blues/country.

But if we improvise totally from scratch, I'm good.

Heh, sometimes I think there should be a "Fewer than 3 guitars owner's club"

As a child, my friends had dogs
(Remembering now as epilogue)
I thought they loved me like a savior
For I'd reward their bad behavior...

As I sat out on the grass at 6am drinking my coffee today, these thoughts appeared in my mind and remained there: complaining about lawns again...

It seems as though the amount of energy people put into getting their lawns to look perfect is inversely proportional to the amount of time people spend outside enjoying their lawns.

What's worse: the noise of the electronic singing toy your in-laws bought your toddler that she plays with nonstop, or the incessant whining for you to fix it after you clandestinely remove the batteries and say "Oops, it's broken"?

One of the hallmarks of being an out-of-touch old man, and one I'm trying to avoid as I approach 40, is the refusal to comprehend that the world around me will change without asking permission.

There once was a lawyer from Sawyer
Who they called The Defendant Destroyer
The jury and judge
He barely could budge
And the accused, that was his employer!

One of the best things about having laser eye surgery, aside from the ability to shoot lasers out of my eyes (that's what I told my kids), is that my eyes dry out if I look at a screen more than an hour or so and I have to walk away and do something else to make my vision un-blurry again. That is a healthy problem to have. Goodnight, Strat-talk.

No Hazard Of Being Turned Into A Real Song (#1175)

I refuse to mow my lawn
Gonna wait till summer's gone
Let them dandelions get wild
Marvel at it like a child
No charging up or pouring gas
No poisoning innocent grass
Let the bees have at the clover
Tiny purple flowers all over
Mint so tall, up past the bricks--
Now close the door and check for ticks!